did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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