After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
