office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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