White coat. Heels.
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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