Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
