yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize