I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
