I'm lost and stupid without you.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
