That's when you crack a 10am beer
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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