I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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