The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
