careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize