Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You are a genius and a whore.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
