Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
