In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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