Just fell off a train. Bad.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
