She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize