You're so nebulous sometimes
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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