just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
