And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
