I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
