never play flip cup with pint glasses
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
