She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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