Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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