I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
