so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
