Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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