U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
