She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I wish you could order shots online.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
