he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize