Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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