Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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