My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
