from now on my penis is your penis
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she pinky promised me she was 18
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
