i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
