marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
