these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
