Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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