never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
