why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
