Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize