clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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