So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
