we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
