Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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