make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize