Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
