because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
