Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
