I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
