Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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