are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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