Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
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