I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
