I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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