Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
