only if we run a train.
done.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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