how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
