ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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