You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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