I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
