im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
