ya dads aren't the best wingmen
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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