dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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