My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
How external is "for external use only"?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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