I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
