he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
