I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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