Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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