i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
